i liked me. i liked who i was without a boy.
but two months before i left for college i met the first boy i would ever love.
he took me by surprise, winning my heart instantly.
it was like i was living in a dream. looking back, it almost seems unreal.
it took merely weeks before we both knew we were in love.
i loved him dearly. i cherish those moments we shared together.
the memories we made and the laughs caught between us.
the year i was in love with him was filled with some of the happiest times of my life.
this boy has had the most profound impact on my life. and there were times where i never wanted to grow old without him. sometimes i still imagine a life with him.
but i knew it would end. i knew he'd live on his mission and i would have to grow up while he was away. i never expected it would end the way it did. or when it did.
exactly one year and one month. that is how long we dated.
that is a long time to spend loving one person. but it went by so fast.
some times i wish i could go back, and do it again.
maybe differently, with more care. and better.
in the big picture perspective, it's only a moment.
eternity is forever. the boy i will marry, really will keep his promise.
of loving me and never ever stopping.
it could still be my first love. in my wildest, romantic dreams, it is him.
but then i meet new boys. new boys who like the things my first love never did. boys that read winnie the pooh and quote my favorite movies. boys that swing on swings in parks with me and tell me about crying over ex-girlfriends. boys who visit their mothers and enjoy my cooking. boys who fell into my life so perfectly after my broken heart needed some mending, that i can't help but wonder what it all means.
i wasn't supposed to meet a boy before college and fall in love with him.
but i did.
my heart wasn't supposed to be broken so quickly.
but it was.
i wasn't expecting to meet someone else and like them so so much.
but i have.
i know it's all going to fall in place perfectly,
i just don't know where i am supposed to go from here.
