i cannot sleep because half of my family cannot sleep.
jacob got his wisdom teeth out on thursday and he is downstairs groaning quite loudly. i also hear my mother's soft, soothing whisper and an occasional spurt of coughing and then the flush of the toliet and i'm left sitting in bed, subject to believe that the entire quart of vanilla ice cream jacob decided to eat is finding it's way to the bottom of the toilet bowl.
i don't like, well 'that'.
i, myself, haven't subjected myself to quite an evening since halloween '98, when i, so out of character, ate my entire collection of candy in one night. since then, i have tried to avoid decisions that will ultimately lead me to sit on my bathroom floor at 3 am.
now this whole ordeal with jacob right now has me evaluating my life. when people around me even start to gag, i jump out of the spot i am in, even if it is a good 5 feet away, and i try if at all possible to find the nearest exit. my heart races so fast. this is my ultimate fear. people, often are under the wrong impression that i will follow suit...and you know...after seeing them...well yeah. but, i don't know, i just don't like people around me feeling so sick.
and as i can hear my mother comfort my brother, i know she is in the room with him, way closer than five feet away, and i don't know how she does it. i don't know how i will do it.
i hope that my fear will subside when i become a mom.
or maybe, i'll luck out.
and it'll be dad who takes care of that business.
